Question by ShivaOm: No idea how to title this. Need advice? Vegan, meat eating, fruitarian, anorexia. help?
So, I’m recovering from anorexia.
Currently in my 4th year.
3 years ago, I started dating my sweetheart who was a meat eater.
After he watched a documentary (which I warned him not to), he gave up on meat really quick.
Unfortunately, me, with 16 years of purposeful starvation behind me, know nothing about really cooking some great vegetarian meals.
I tried, I really did. I really did. Recipes, and cooking. But, I can only cook so much, and he only likes so much. Never into much world food except Falafel, and Grape leaves. So, he ate a lot of pizza. late night phone calls.
Skip to the current. He’s detoxing from benzos now. And back to eating meat.
I’m not upset about it, I’m really happy he’s able to eat. I don’t really care that it’s meat. I mean, i do. I wish it wasn’t, but I understand he has to do what he has to do.
Meanwhile, I’m stressed out and binge eating. I’m at a healthy weight. I did jump up to an unhealthy weight for a brief month, but I’m down again. But not where I was before.
I’m trying to balance my recovery with his recovery. Think it’s easy?
I want to go Fruitarian. I’ve researched, I’ve got books and information.
I know this wouldn’t bother him too much. The fact I’d be eating is what would make him happy.
Im not keen on it tho, because when I went raw vegan for a week, I ended up cutting my calorie intake to 800, because I had to keep track of what I was eating. If I watch what I eat, I end up really going overboard, and I’m having trouble keeping that part of my disease in check, when I want to restrict my diet.
I’ve been a vegetarian for at least 20 years. I did go vegan before full on disease; but when I fell hard into anorexia, i used raw vegan as an excuse.
My best friend, who was my confidant, died in april. So I have nobody to talk to on days where I feel like I could eat a whale, or days where I’m refusing food.
I can’t cook the meat for my hunny. I can’t touch death. I’ve tried, and I feel so horrible for it.
I just don’t know what to do. Don’t really know what I’m asking. I guess I just had to get it out.
Answer by Freestyle Q
Congrats on your recovery and try to stay strong. If you don’t feel comfortable cooking meat, there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe you can cook mock meat for him like Boca or MorningStar. You can always look on YouTube for other ideas. Try not to stress yourself out 😉
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